Unsung
by LunaZola
Summary: Tony and Ziva have a little chat the afternoon of Mike Frank's funeral. My interpretation and viewpoints from throughout the episode. Pyramid Spoilers of course.


_I'm a Tiva shipper so I wrote this with that in mind, but really, it can just as easily be a friendship fic. _

I'll admit I was pretty discouraged by how quickly some of you seemed to throw NCIS into the doomed pile. I wasn't necessarily humming with happiness at the end of Pyramid, but I certainly wouldn't go as far to say that I hated it, or that I'm not gonna watch NCIS anymore. Also, I find it shocking when people say an episode made them hate a character. I look at characters as being full-fleshed humans, and the truth is a well-rounded person makes mistakes. If someone did something you didn't agree with or didn't want them to do would you instantly hate them? I'm sure you'd suspect there was something else going on. I figure Ziva's having conflicting thoughts and feelings, it's all over her face, and this is just set up for her character's growth. She's struggling with this new freedom.

Also, the writers lost me when they tried to get us to sympathize with EJ. It couldn't be done. They had displayed her in a way, until that point, that it was nearly impossible for us (more specifically me) to connect with her when the writers wanted me to.

Anyway, long story short this is my response to the finale, many of the things they discuss below were my interpretations throughout the episode. I'm not willing to rule them out yet. Overall I found Pyramid pretty meaningful and enjoyable. It's all about the subtext, my pretties! Only Frank's Swan Song has been sung.

**Disclaimer: Don't own, just interpret. **

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><p>Ziva stood in the hallway outside her apartment door, silently juggling her things as she sifted around for her keys. Finally, with a huff she gave up and called through the door.<p>

"Tony, let me in! I cannot find my keys!" She sighed loudly enough for him to hear from within her apartment. As she expected her door swung slowly open to reveal her partner. She entered casually, paying him little attention as she went upon her routine, dropping her backpack in the front closet, hanging her coat and placing her car keys in the bowl on the table just inside the door.

"How'd you know I was here?" Tony pondered as he watched her go about her apartment depositing her property in a far more organized manner than he did at his own home.

"I believe you often refer to it as my ninja senses?" She remarked as she padded into her kitchen, flipping on the light and opening the fridge.

"Yeah well, I thought maybe you lost those, seeing as in the past you wouldn't have gotten whacked on the back of the head so easily..." He grunted at her with obvious annoyance in his voice; her calm disposition certainly wasn't helping his mood. She narrowed her eyes at him, not entirely sure why she was insulted. It was true, but the same thing had happened to countless other agents without their competence being questioned. Her frowned deepened as she was reminded again that she was held to a different standard, the same one Cobb had been expected to achieve before he cracked, because she was a robotic emotionless killer, after all. And something inside her shattered at the thought that after all this time, even if it wasn't the entirety of who she was, it was still part of how they defined her.

"The hallway still smells like your cologne. Also, I would appreciate that in the future you not remove my home key from my key ring and let yourself in. Surely you can be like other people and knock!" she snarled heatedly her face taking on that of a caged animal as she bared her teeth, ever so slightly, at him.

"And why do you think I stole your key? Maybe I picked the lock" he shrugged flippantly because he knew it would make her itch, just as her disinterested tone had done to him.

"I'm an investigator, Tony. I can tell when a lock has been picked. You used a key, which I certainly never gave you and the one from my key ring is missing. It isn't rocket science." She shouted defensively. Just like she felt she was constantly reminding them of her existing feelings, she was defending her position as a investigator opposed to an assassin. She'd left that life behind. Or so she thought, but in the most inopportune moments, other's seemed to latch onto her past.

Just as his mouth opened to hurl another blow, her shoulders sunk forward and she seemed to deflate. As much as she'd absolutely _love _to spar with him right now, she just couldn't find the energy to give it any thought.

"Why are you here, Tony?" She whispered as the exhaustion caught up to her again. She just wanted to sleep for a few days. She didn't think it was too much to ask.

"Why weren't you there, Ziva? Did you have something more important to do? If I remember correctly, you were crying in the elevator about Franks' death and then you didn't even show up for the funeral." He accused and she could see where he was coming from, but what did he care if she went to a funeral or not?

She thought about scoffing at the notion that she had something better to do but decided against it. It wasn't really a time for jokes. Nothing was funny today, anyway. She dropped her body heavily into her sofa and looked up at him, a genuine answer in her eyes. She was sick of deflecting and pretending and hiding.

"I didn't think I could take it, Tony. But I did not just skip it, I talked to Gibbs before hand. He knew that I wouldn't be there and he was okay with that." She explained softly, only touching the surface of that particular conversation. Tony's face lost its tension as he followed suit and rested his aching bones into the cushions of the same sofa.

"Why?" slipped through his cracked lips before he had a chance to think of a more composed question. It was soft, like rustling leaves, and understanding at the same time.

"I... I haven't been to a funeral since Talia. I just, I paid my respects to Mike privately, but I couldn't fathom attending... and it being Mike's, the first in over 10 years." She admitted softly, her eyes traveling around her living room, never settling for more than a second.

Tony reached across the short, but seemingly gaping, distance between them, slipping his hand into hers and giving it a quick squeeze. When he still hadn't released she looked up and met his eyes, and found herself fighting another emotional display.

"He gave me an empty box" she spoke out of nowhere, confusing Tony and surprising herself at once. And even with her vague statement, he managed to reach a plausible conclusion and his brow collapsed in on itself, forming wrinkles.

"That's the other thing I don't understand. You said you broke up with him" he pointed carefully, his eyes jumping around the wall ahead of him as he tried to comprehend the instant change in her temperature towards CI-Ray. "Then EJ's telling us you said you were going to the hotel to see your _boyfriend. _I mean..."

"I didn't lie, Tony -to you anyway. I honestly hadn't talked to him since I ended it. I was going to the hotel because I suspected that Ray may have known more then he let on... I figured I would get more from him if I approached him as... as a girlfriend rather than confronting him. EJ wanted to come along, even after Gibbs told her to stay at NCIS. So I told her what I thought would dissuade her from..." She finished with a sigh has she turned to look at his profile. She waited patiently for a few minutes, waiting for him to say something or look at her or acknowledge her however else he could think of. She noticed a movement that was reminiscent of nod but she couldn't be sure it wasn't just her nerves making her see things.

"Why, pray tell, do you insist on being so freaking secretive?" He groaned as he finally turned towards her and she could see the frustration in his eyes. She shrugged lazily rolling her head back onto the couch.

"Habit I suppose" She whispered towards the ceiling. It was, in all actuality, a good question. Really she hadn't even thought about keeping secrets or keeping things to herself. She hadn't realized she'd been doing it. Of course, there were times she withheld information from him, usually the unimportant things, just to watch Tony squirm but this was certainly not one of those times. She hadn't intentionally been keeping him in the dark about anything.

"We're going to have to break that one." He smiled softly at her, almost jokingly, forcing a small smile from her as well. Eventually she lifted her head so she could see him in more than her peripheral vision.

"Yes. And, EJ? She is going back to Rota?" Ziva asked gently, watching his face for any signs of discontent. She was surprised to see him appear contemplative, but satisfied with whatever conclusion he had reached.

"She said she gave up her post. She might stick around DC for a while but... she doesn't seem to have destination in mind. She's in transition, I think." Tony recounted thoughtfully but virtually unaffected.

"She has some decisions to make. I'm sure if you asked her to stay..." Ziva murmured as she tried to decipher that damn face he was making.

"We may bump into each other, but I think maybe -maybe I'm finishing my own transition. She's not what I'm looking for anymore" He assured as one corner of his lips raised slightly, and again she mirrored the twitch of a smile.

"It sounds as if you have really thought about this" She affirmed and he could clearly see her pride in him on her face. A warm feeling traveled down his throat and settled in his chest like a shot of Vodka. That is, until her eyes took on a distance, an introspective appearance that made her seem more sad than at peace.

"What's that face?" He prodded bluntly causing her eyes to startle back onto his face. She bit down on the inside of her cheek and shook her head slightly as if that was supposed to convince him of something.

"I just... I think I know what I want, and I've been... trying and" She attempted to explain before her mouth dried up and moisture pooled in her eyes. Her words cut off with a frustrated bark of a laugh. "I'm doing it right, aren't I? The American dream? Step one; citizenship. Step two; enjoyable job. Step three; fam-family. You'd tell me if I was doing something wrong, right?"

He watched her fling her hands around in defeat and apprehension, her tongue rattling against her teeth as she pronounced the words in a sharp but strained version of her accent. Her eyes bounced around as she drew her body in on herself like a spring gathering it's energy. He could just imagine her getting ready throw herself against the walls. And just like that she had flung her head backwards hitting it repeatedly against the back of the couch, as to release some of that overflowing amount of energy and tension and anger. Tony's eyes opened wider at her self-inflictive behavior as he leaned towards her and took her face in his hands in order to halt her motions.

He twisted sideways to face her without releasing his hold on her. And all too late did he realize they had still held hands until he had moved his to her face. A cough, that very well could have been a sob, escaped her as her face was directed towards his. Her eyes were dry, clear of any tears, but her face was flushed and pale in the same moment. She looked half has hopeless as she felt. His hands loosely dropped from her cheeks to cradle her head somewhere near the back of her neck.

"Hey" he called, drawing her attention from whatever was wrecking havoc inside her mind, "tell me"

His voice and eyes and the rest of his body radiated with earnestness. She nearly broke composure when her senses registered the circles his finger drew in the fine hairs at the nape of her neck. She slipped from his hands and buried herself into the corner of the couch as she looked back at him. Her arms and knees folded in front of her chest like a shield trying to cover her nakedness.

"I do not know where I belong" she confessed, knowing it was the first time she said it out loud, much less to herself at all. It had been lingering, festering, for a while. Ray _had _been just a friend for quite sometime and then... and then something had changed in her and she had retreated into the solace of his friendship. She had made so many strides in the past years but it was when the psychiatrist came, forcing her to voice her deepest desires, that she had faltered. She had lost her footing as she stepped towards the people she dared call family and found that they were somehow different than they had been hours before. She felt the nostalgia and throbbing pain from the past emanating off each of them and felt her world being shattered beneath her.

Who was she to think she had a place here? She had forced herself onto them all only a short time after they had lost a dear friend. She had dug her heels in, elbowed herself some space and eventually she was foolish enough to believe she belonged there. She had naively built herself a home on the site of one she had a part in demolishing. She was a replacement, a filler. Despite the time they spent together outside of work, Abby hadn't named her as a female friend and that may have hurt most of all. Perhaps it was time to acknowledge she'd been picking apples off a tree that hadn't been hers. She was ashamed at how selfish she was when she found herself wondering why her six years with the team could never trump Kate's two. She imagined her mother telling her that she loved Talia and her equal and that neither was the favorite. Neither could take each other's place. She scoffed then and she couldn't seem to believe it now, especially after she watched her team stumble around missing her predecessor.

"You belong here" Tony chuckled kindly, but it felt rough and condescending against her skin. She was painfully serious. How could he not see? Her face was screwed up with readable ache and his heart pounded when it registered the doubt in her eyes.

"You belong here," He repeated more forcefully, "you know that. You can't question that"

"Yet I do, Tony... I thought I knew that but I'm -I am not so sure anymore." She choked out, accompanying the words with a rueful shake of her head.

"But, how can, but you... are you leaving, Ziva? Are you thinking of leaving?" He spluttered, the panic evident in his new stiff posture and unplanned words. She moved her head in an awkward gesture that fell between a nod and a shake accompanied with a shrug.

"There are a lot of things that..."She began, trying to sort out her thoughts but eventually settling on another course, "Ray gave me a ring box today"

He watched her movements, which admittedly were nonexistent. It seemed like a change of subject on the surface, but he knew her well enough that her story would more accurately define what she was feeling.

"He proposed?"

"No" she was quick to reply, "It was empty. I swear, sometimes you do not listen. He gave me an empty ring box and told me it was a promise. An empty box; is that not the same as an empty promise?"

"But you wanted a ring? You would have preferred he propose?" Tony prodded in return, watching every flexing muscle for a sign.

"Well yes! Who gives an empty box? That is not to say I would have accepted but it would have been something... A box gets lost, thrown away. I can't build something permanent on a box." she groaned exasperatedly.

"So what do you want, Ziva? What does that have to do with not belonging?" he probed, aiming for the code he'd need to decrypt what she so desperately needed him to understand.

"I want something permanent... I want stability, a home. I want the American dream. I stayed here and put all I have into NCIS... but it is never enough. I still haven't found what I'm looking for and I'm at a loss about how to get there. I asked Ray to stay... gave him an excuse to stay but he said he couldn't. I gave him a second chance and I hoped I'd be reason enough to stay but... and now, I am where I began. I've made no promise to be waiting for him when he returns. I can't, I can't be the second choice, again."

"Ziva, this is your home. Stop looking for a place to belong. Just stop looking!" He begged, reaching for her even as she seemed to shrink away from him.

"I can't!" she insisted as she allowed him to take hold of both her hands.

"We went to the horn of Africa and ended up bring you home. You spent months upon months jumping through hoops for your citizenship and for agent status at NCIS. Don't tell me you don't belong here. You wouldn't have fought so hard to stay in a place you didn't belong. For God sake, Ziva, whatever has you questioning your place..."

"People have come and gone a lot this year. You left Baltimore and forgot completely about your partner until he appears dead. Agents are killed and replaced and reassigned and forgotten. I want stability, so why am I here? I want permanence."

"Those are other teams, other circumstances. You stopped calling two summers ago but we didn't stop looking. Know why we're the best? Why we get the results? We're family. It's simple. You can leave and marry Ray, but in the end we'll drag you back and you know it. You _know _that you belong here, and you're only questioning it because you want to jump straight to the dream. You think you've paid your dues, and you're getting impatient. Ray was the first offer and he seems decent enough but don't settle, Ziva. Engagement isn't all it's cut out to be. Been there done that." He rambled and she knew he was right, as much as she hated admitting it. She nodded. She was overexcited by this new world that had opened to her. She got a taste of what could be and wanted more. She leaned forward, resting her head against his shoulder and settling into the couch. She closed her eyes and let out a long steady breath.

"This is where I belong" she announced, bringing a smile to his face as he adjusted into a more comfortable position.

Ziva woke up half an hour later, not expected to fall asleep on her couch with Tony. He was shifting, trying to untangle himself from her and he had jostled her just enough to wake her. He looked down at her apologetically as she lifted herself from where she was sprawled against him.

"I have a meeting." he informed her softly as he glanced down at the watch on his left wrist.

"With the Director?" She assumed, albeit confused by why the Director would need to see her partner.

"Kind of" he conceded the information with a guarded glance in her direction.

"Tony, is something wrong? It isn't usually a good thing when the Director wants to see you." she murmured with concern. His face gave nothing away and she knew he was keeping something to himself.

"An assignment?" She guessed and was rewarded with a slight nod.

"Undercover?" She guessed again as she stood and faced him, only the couch separating them. Her heart was pounding at the idea of the upheaval this could cause.

"No, but that's all I can say, Ziva. I really shouldn't have even told you this much, but I don't want to lie to you anymore" He said softly, his eyes locked on hers, willing her to believe him.

"Okay" She agreed. After all, she knew better than to ask more. She applied a reassuring smile and nodded towards Tony.

She couldn't even begin to piece together what came next for them. Their team was always facing obstacles, that was something that would never change. And in a twisted way, it gave her comfort to know that even in their messy world there was some strange form of stability. She had a family and had a home and the rest would come eventually. Be it a picket fence and dogs or an apartment and a hamster. She didn't need to rush but that didn't mean she wouldn't want to. She had everything she needed within her reach. Ray would go, but she doubted she'd have room for him in her life when he came back. He had helped her grow, and she would continue to grow without him.

All the words unsaid and swan songs unsung would continue to shape their futures. So she watched Tony leave knowing she didn't need an empty box to tell her he'd be back. It was their pattern. He didn't need to say the words, because he always strutted the walk.

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><p>Okay, what do ya'll think? Feel free to discuss Pyramid with me as long as you don't tear the characters or actors to bits and pieces. I'm all about interpretation and friendly disagreement but please don't condemn the future of this beloved show.<p>

-Linnie


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